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The Truth about Sex, a Sex Primer for the 21st Century Volume II: Sex for Grown-Ups, by Gloria G. Brame
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Readers say Dr. Gloria Brame has changed their lives. Find out why in SEX FOR GROWN-UPS. The ultimate sex-positive adult primer, SEX FOR GROWN-UPS, takes a delightfully original and upbeat approach to sex based on three simple rules--that human sexual behavior is complicated, that sex and gender diversity are normal, and that all adults can have pleasurable sex. In a radical departure from institutionalized theories about what sex should be, Brame explains the facts about what sex actually is, and shows you how to use this information to improve your sex life and relationships. Drawing on sex history, scientific data, sex studies, medical studies, and stories from her private practice, SEX FOR GROWN-UPS gives you sex education you never knew you needed and will always be grateful you received.
About the Author:
GLORIA G. BRAME, Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, is an author, blogger, sex historian, board-certified sexologist, and sex therapist in private practice. Brame is the world's leading authority on fetishes and BDSM, and is a much-quoted expert on mainstream sexual issues, including performance disorders and orgasmic function. In addition to The Truth About Sex, Volume I: Sex and the Self and Volume II: Sex for Grown-Ups, she is the author of perennial bestsellers Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission and Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex. A full professor of Human Sexuality at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, Brame also sits on the board of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. Most recently, Brame was named among the "10 Best Sex and Dating Experts," by DatingAdvice.com. Google Gloria Brame or follow @DrGloriaBrame on Twitter.
- Sales Rank: #1970995 in Books
- Published on: 2013-06-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .37" w x 5.51" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 172 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Attention Grown-Ups: This is great material!!! Please read it!
By Robert J. Rubel
The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer for the 21st Century
Volume 2: Sex for Grown-Ups by
Dr. Gloria G. Brame
Review by Robert Rubel, Ph.D. (Dr. Bob)
As the author of: [...], I can tell you with certainty, Dr. Brame has done it again and written another book filled with great, concise summaries/conclusions about what sex is and is not for "Grown-Ups". Her book is a must-read for those of us who intellectualize sex - her phrase. I recognize how vital it is to have a clear understanding of your partners (or partners) sexual needs and how important it is to have a healthy, diverse, and fulfilling sex life: a healthy sex life fosters relationship stability and improves your personal wellbeing.
Dr. Brame's book explains that sex is experiential, not intellectual, and that you should be seeking a relationship that affirms all partners' needs. She describes how your sex life should include enough variety to keep both partners excited - and then provides some ideas about what "variety" might look like for you. She also cautions that you and your partner should maintain a shared or compatible sexual self-identity that includes compatible sexual personalities. In the end, for a healthy, sexually compatible relationship, Dr. Brame notes that all sexually-involved parties should be satisfied with whatever sexual path you take.
Here are some highlights concerning sexual stability in a relationship, taken from The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer for the 21st Century Volume 2: Sex for Grown-Ups by
Dr. Gloria G. Brame stresses these points:
* If you can't be emotionally naked, if you can't tell your sex partner your secrets, if you're too angry to tolerate each other, the chances of a fulfilling sex life are virtually nil.
* Sex reaffirms the romantic bond. We can tap its potential to build deeper and more lasting commitments. Romantic love is a by-product of the sex chemicals in our brains.
* When people reach the point in a relationship where they avoid sex with their partner, more often than not it's one of two things: either that they have fallen out of love with their partner or the type of sex they are having is awkward and dissatisfying.
* While penetration is important to some women, even those who love it the most still want to feel held, kissed, and handled during the sex act, and not just penetrated.
* Secrets destroy otherwise supportive, respectful, loving relationships. There is an intense brain chemistry that flows when partners are joined together uniquely by mutual trust and mutual lust.
* The longer you are with someone, the more ways you should know how to turn them on and get them off.
Here are some highlights concerning healthy personal sexual identity, taken from The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer for the 21st Century Volume 2: Sex for Grown-Ups by
Dr. Gloria G. Brame stresses these points:
* One's sexuality is strongly influenced by how we feel about ourselves. People with good self-esteem feel entitled to sexual pleasure in bed and seek it out on their own terms.
* When we believe what society tells us we're supposed to be sexually and that clashes with who we think we are, it can lead to sexual identity crisis.
* Building a positive new sexual feedback loop makes the connection between sex and joy. The more positive experiences you have, the more confidence you build about your ability to perform well in bed.
Here are some highlights concerning "stepping out of our sexual safety box", taken from The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer for the 21st Century Volume 2: Sex for Grown-Ups by
Dr. Gloria G. Brame stresses these points:
* By adulthood, a fetishist finds it increasingly hard to feel fully satisfied unless there is some fetish activity in their intimacy.
* It's common for all people to lose interest in sex when the kind of sex they have is not giving them the kind of fulfillment their brains crave. For men, this may also lead to impotence, difficulty maintaining erections, and penile dissociation.
* I find it grim how many adults are inexperienced or clumsy with sex and how many limit themselves to a tiny, sometimes monotonous repertoire of sex acts... obsesses so much over toys that he or she never learns the basics of orgasmic sex, acquiring basic techniques for giving and getting sexual pleasure
* Emerging research suggests that simply having good sex with someone for a long period of time may alter our internal biology sufficiently to make us want to stay monogamous.
* Like the rest of your life, if your sex life doesn't grow it will stagnate.
I'll end this review by totally endorsing Dr. Brame's book and her observations that fulfilling sex right involves all five senses. Sex isn't just about your lips and genitals, it is a full-body buffet of delights. Slow down to listen to the sounds your partners make; touch them all over; taste their skin with your lips and tongue; look at them all over without shame; inhale their natural odors.
And, have fun.
Robert Rubel
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
The new book!!
By Jambi
Gloria Brame's latest book, "The Truth About Sex, A Sex Primer For The 21st
Century Volume II: Sex For Grown-Ups," is yet another stunning victory, both
for Dr. Brame, and for anyone who reads it. One of her many strengths is
that as a therapist, she writes for everyone: the seasoned kink scene
player, the "vanilla" sexual person just curious about variations in sex and
techniques, or anyone in between. In her books, there is no "too-cool"
person, waiting at the door to show you out---only a warm, intelligent and
knowledgeable person to welcome you in: Dr. Brame. Her major point in this
particular book is this: deviation from "the norm" is the new normal. Our
sexual definitions heretofore were decided wrongly from the Victorian age
and repeated and preached badly for years, until now. She strives to make
knowledge-seeking people aware of this, to cut down the barriers to free and
healthy thinking about all things sexual, and to make people aware of the
real health benefits of good sex and masturbation. This is a page-turner!
There are dungeons and drag queens here, sure, but there is much more. Treat
yourself to Gloria's Mind.
Jamie Hoover
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
You Totally Need A Sex Make-Over!
By Jada A. Washington
I was luckily provided with an author's copy of this book to review. Now, thank your sex life that I was there to help.
My deflowering sucked. I mean, I wish I could give you some magical, romantic tale about it. But, it was an eye-opening experience that really made me question the whole idea of having sexual intercourse. It wasn't until my mid-20's, following the birth of my child, that I really felt sexually liberated. Imagine a bunch of strangers staring at your naughty bits, seeing you secrete bodily fluids that only ooze out in your bathroom. After that, I thought there was nothing to be ashamed of. Childbirth definitely gave me a freedom that counteracted the cultural and religious ideologies I'd been taught growing up in the South. And, I felt confident that at some point I'd meet someone who shared the same values. Then, the 30's happened.
I began to think I was some freak of nature who was cursed in the intimacy department. But this book, this wonderful manual of all things sex-amazing, changed this. I won't go into my kinks, whether I like spankings, or my preferred gender of love. But, I will tell you that this book made me feel good. How often do you read something that makes you feel good about sexual choices you've made past, present, and future? Me? Not often. Hey, born-again Christian here. I was taught there was happiness--Sodom and Gomorrah happiness. And then there's Hell--where all the harlots and Jezebels who want non-traditional sex that doesn't lead to procreation go to burn. Jezebel Hell. I'm practical enough to know that I'm going to no such place. But if I did, I am now comforted that I wouldn't be alone. Ha ha ha! I'm just kidding.
Dr. Brame is so freaking awesome. If I wasn't so far away, she'd definitely be one of my therapists because I've got some issues to work out. In the meantime, her book has done me wonders. Up until this point, I've only credited two works of non-fiction as positive influences in my sexual identity. The first is "The Cult of Womanhood" by Marlene LeGates. The other is A Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock. (Isn't it cool how both of them have "M" names? So weird!) Now, I have Gloria Brame. (I'm totally counting the "mmmmm" in Brame, creating my triumvirate of groundbreaking, M-named ladies).
Dr. Brame's world is sort of like the Island of Misfit Toys. When you saw those poor playthings on that old school Christmas special, you really felt something for them. It is possible that you actually started to reflect on how these toys related to you. Was it you who wanted to be Joy-In-The-Box when society made you be a Jack-In-The-Box? This is what many of you might feel if you read this book. The topics discussed totally relate to you in your river of denial in Egypt. At first, it's like viewing a make-over show where the participants must let go of an outdated style to embrace something more personal and more contemporary. It is easy to think you're so hip that this would never happen to you. But, a quick review of your closet brings the truth to the surface--you totally need a make-over. If you're in dire need of a sexual makeover, please buy this book. Nobody is promising an orgasm. But, there might be an orgasm, possibly more orgasms. Why are you still reading this review?
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